25 warning signs that you might be obsessing about Calvinism:
1. For romantic occasions, you prefer to give/get
2. You hear some people talking about the new Johnny C. movie and you instantly think
3. You leave your Conservative Reformed Baptist Congregation to start a house church after hearing the Pastor use the word “Choose” in a sermon.
4. You have a picture of
5. You know what a “remonstrant” is.
6. You used to love this guy, but these CDs are now in your “Do Not Play Until God Grants Them Repentance” box:
7. Without me giving last names, you still know who I’m referring to:
John
John
John
John
John
Jonathan
John
John
John
8. Whenever you try to persuade people about the “Doctrines of Grace” all they hear is a
9. When people tell you they’re “Four Pointers” you already know they are stuck on the
10. Every book you read is endorsed by:
11. You’ve seen this avatar repeatedly in the comment section on your blog:
12. Your yearly personal Bible-Verse Memory Program consists of Romans 9, again.
13. Someone tells you they go to
14. You attach an extra “Lord Willing” onto your original “Lord Willing” just in case.
15. The word “Puritan” appears as a required character trait in your profile on
16. You’ve vacationed at
17. You hear a news story about some criminals being “reformed” and your first thought is to wonder how many criminals are arminians.
18. Your browser’s home page is set to the
19. On at least 4 different blogs, you end up in extended wars with arminians arguing about God’s Sovereignty. Your final comment always being a variation of
20. Over 75% of your personal library is published by
21. No matter what conference you go to one or more or all of these guys is/are speaking:
22. You’ve washed your little kid’s mouth out with soap for saying “iMonk”
23. You’re looking under your big kid’s bed and find
and you are way more upset then the time you found
24. All your kids can recite
25. You’ve just deleted PURGATORIO from you Blogroll
118 Pleas from original post:
justin said…
There is enough to comment on here to last for days.
I’ve often wondered how J.I. Packer has the time to read all the books that he endorces or writes the forward to. And how much does he get paid for each one? Even if it is $10 each, he is a millionaire!
I’m thankful. How would we know which books are Reformed/Biblical without him?
12/12/2005 11:10:44 AM
Dyspraxic Fundamentalist said…
Hilarious.
12/12/2005 11:18:48 AM
Lee Shelton said…
Here’s one more…
26. One of the factors you consider when choosing a church is its emphasis on the Five Points of Calvinism.
12/12/2005 12:07:26 PM
rebecca said…
Ha! I love it!
12/12/2005 12:12:02 PM
Shawn said…
Priceless
12/12/2005 12:32:35 PM
thelittlefields said…
ohmygoodness this is awesome!!! How do you know so much about me??
12/12/2005 12:48:42 PM
Jim said…
You just keep getting better and better.
Yet another site that I cannot read while having a coke.
12/12/2005 12:59:56 PM
sweetpea said…
this calvinist is laughing….(and you won’t be deleted from our favorites list!)
12/12/2005 01:18:33 PM
Doxoblogist said…
I like the Free Grace Antonio avatar.
And I don’t end my debates with read the Bible or I’m praying for you. I generally just consign anyone who disagrees with me to hell.
:-)
12/12/2005 01:22:06 PM
Dyspraxic Fundamentalist said…
I had been wondering for a while why Antonio never visited my blog. He started visiting recently. Its good to see his avatar there.
Presumably that does not mean I am turning Calvinist.
12/12/2005 01:54:40 PM
Libbie said…
I shouldn’t be surprised, you were fore-ordained to do something like this.
12/12/2005 02:03:52 PM
Rose~ said…
Great post, Marc! I have seen the Free Grace Avatar a lot, but I KNOW I am not turning Calvinist!
12/12/2005 02:21:13 PM
mjbeasley said…
22. You’ve washed your little kid’s mouth out with soap for saying “iMonk”
You’ve been talk’n to my kids, haven’t you!
MJB
The Armoury
12/12/2005 02:22:05 PM
Anonymous said…
I should have read Jim in the comments first. I hate carbonation in my sinus cavity!
12/12/2005 02:29:11 PM
Doug E. said…
That was amazinly funny. The sad part was that got every joke.
Doug
12/12/2005 02:39:17 PM
Jacob Hantla said…
[Delete]…jk
12/12/2005 02:53:30 PM
Anonymous said…
I’ll pray for you Marc, and that’s all I have to say on that matter.
12/12/2005 03:09:26 PM
Antonio said…
I am paid to bring more traffic to Calvinist blogs.
Hey, where’s my royalties?
12/12/2005 03:13:51 PM
hythlodaeus said…
man. I am reformed, but this is one of the funniest things i’ve read in a while. Especially the list of Johns.
12/12/2005 03:23:58 PM
marc said…
The check is in the mail Antonio…
12/12/2005 04:04:08 PM
T.B. Vick said…
Those in fact do indicate genuine obsession with Calvinism ; )
LOL, this is your best ‘montage’ yet.
12/12/2005 04:17:38 PM
Calvinist_Gadfly said…
Marc,
Don’t hide it… I know that you have my Calvinist Gadfly blog as your browser’s home page. Recognizing the obsession is the first step to being cured… hehe
12/12/2005 04:20:11 PM
David Kjos said…
That last speaker looks like Paul McCartney. I didn’t know he was a Calvinist.
You got three of the Johns out of order.
12/12/2005 04:45:58 PM
marc said…
I’m making progress Alan, you are no longer my homepage but simply in My Favorites.
David,
The fact that you’d even assume there was an order speaks volumes… seek help my friend ;-}
12/12/2005 04:59:36 PM
Doug E. said…
By the way… What was Derek Webb think as he wrote his new album anyway?
Doug
12/12/2005 05:03:25 PM
étrangère said…
Ah, I ducked quite a few of these just by being from t’other side o the pond, where they don’t apply, Marc!
And as when I think of M.Jean Calvin I think in a French pronunciation, “Jonny C” was never going to do it for me, sadly. And I’m only 2/3 of the way through the good ol’ Shorter Catechism.
Did anyone else spot the mistake on the Bethlehem Baptist Lee linked to above? It says that the questions it quotes are from different ‘great old catechisms’ but they’re both from the Westminster Shorter. And no, that doesn’t show I’m obsessed with Calvinism, merely that I’m overly pedantic.
Oh Marc, you’re not going hyper anyway - not logical enough: you can’t have a library of BOT/SDG AND have every book endorsed by Packer. He hasn’t done so many of them.
Justin - you don’t really think Packer reads em all?? *hahaha, hehehe, … hahahahaha!*
[Sorry, recovering.]
After one has been in the book business/world a while, you read the contents page, skim through the first chapter (not all if it’s long) and the last chapter (ditto) and any possibly interesting bits (key expositions, contraversial bits etc) flagged up by the contents page. In fact, a good bookseller I know, knowing the theological context of author and book frequently just goes straight to the last chapter. You really don’t need to go far into a book to know what it says and recommend it. You need to go slightly further to offer concerns, further still to offer a fair critique, and in order for it to actually do you much good you need to read, chew over, digest and pray through it. Either Packer in his wisdom and familiarity with writing and books does what I described, OR there is a bank of Packer recommendation quotes somewhere which someone is making money selling one at a time to various publishers. I favour the latter
12/12/2005 05:12:06 PM
Anonymous said…
Huh huh… that bald dude under #21 has something stuck up his nose. Huh… .
12/12/2005 05:34:16 PM
Antonio said…
J.I. Packer endorsed the dreaded R.T. Kendall book “Calvin and English Calvinism to 1649″
So etrangere MUST be right that Dr. Kendall purchased this endorsement…
“Dr. Kendall’s exciting study … is a major step forward in the reappraisal of Puritanism… no student in the Puritan field can excuse himself from reckoning with this important contributition.” (J.I. Packer’s endorsement of R.T. Kendall’s “Calvin and English Calvinism to 1649″)
According to this book, John Calvin was not as Calvinistic as his followers!
Antonio
12/12/2005 05:46:33 PM
Shawn said…
Marc,
This site is really turning into a great alernative to the “You might be a redneck if” websites you can find for Christians?
;-0,
Shawn Lynes
12/12/2005 05:59:36 PM
ResponsiveReader said…
I’d write something witty but I am laughing so hard I can barely make the keys work! I may just print it in next week’s bulletin.
12/12/2005 06:09:25 PM
Shawn said…
Marc,
Could you do your next series on you might be a redneck calvinist if? You know those southern calvinists are of a different breed than us midwestern calvinists.
12/12/2005 06:31:16 PM
Jonathan Moorhead said…
Marc, this is classic. Definitely ranks among your best.
12/12/2005 07:15:12 PM
Doxoblogist said…
Shawn,
Are you making fun of me and Moorhead?
12/12/2005 07:23:21 PM
Joshua Sowin said…
Oh man, this is one of the best.
12/12/2005 07:26:34 PM
Julianne said…
Pretty predictable…
:) funny!
12/12/2005 07:27:26 PM
Steve Weaver said…
This is one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen! How do you keep topping yourself?
12/12/2005 07:50:04 PM
Sled Dog said…
Marc, that was absolutely a blast to go through. I you can succeed at causing believers from all walks to not take themselves so seriously, to laugh at themselves once in a while, you’ve accomplished a great feat!
12/12/2005 09:20:09 PM
Kyle said…
I’m disappointed to find out that, by these criteria, I’m not obsessed with Calvinism.
12/12/2005 09:40:17 PM
pilgrim said…
Hilarious stuff–I especially liked #2,7,11,12,17 & 20.
12/12/2005 09:45:08 PM
Aaron said…
Don’t forget about John Murray, John Stott, John Frame, and John Wesley.
…No wait, scratch that last one.
12/12/2005 10:12:41 PM
tank said…
I love it. I think im goint hyper too:)
12/12/2005 10:24:12 PM
evanmay said…
I’m actually ignorant about the Derek Webb one…
Other than that, it was ingenius. But what’s up with Derek Webb?
:)
12/12/2005 10:31:54 PM
John said…
AWESOME!!!!!!!! I especially like #19!!!!!!!!!!! because Biblical literacy would definately increase the number of Calvinists! Lol I love #13 too!!!!!!I actually met 3 people in #21 (Mohler, Dever, and Begg). Great post. It made this hyperCalvinist (on ridoline) smile.
12/12/2005 10:33:38 PM
candyinsierras said…
brilliant. i like the stuck on “L”. so true.
12/12/2005 11:34:54 PM
T.B. Vick said…
ok, I have viewed this post about 4 times now and have been laughing all day long. . . that was great. . . truly hilarious!!!
12/12/2005 11:37:18 PM
Julianne said…
I’m linking to it…
12/12/2005 11:37:20 PM
candleman said…
Hilarious!!! Most five pointers I run across have a picture of this guy on their dart board.
{{{Candleman}}}
12/13/2005 12:51:24 AM
Jason said…
WOW…this is one of the funniest things I have ever read!!!! I will have a tulip garden some day though!!!
What book hasn’t been endorsed by J.I. Packer?
12/13/2005 01:41:52 AM
William Dicks said…
What’s a Calvinist? Does he prefer Calvin over Hobbes?
12/13/2005 05:33:38 AM
Ant said…
I’m not sure if it is right to be that funny. Please restrain yourself.
12/13/2005 05:40:09 AM
marc said…
Evanmay,
Here is a bit of context for the Derek Webb thing. Some folks thought his reformed theology was slipping a bit on his latest CD.
Here is a link to part 1 of Challies interview with him.
12/13/2005 07:46:30 AM
étrangère said…
I’ve only just, on a re-read, spotted your last few words in
14. You attach an extra “Lord Willing” onto your original “Lord Willing” just in case.
That cracked me up. That really cracked me up. Just in case…
Is it only me who’s concerned that some people think #19 is actually a good response?
12/13/2005 08:16:41 AM
Paulos said…
This is a great follow-up on your “You Might Be Emerging If. . . .”
Funny stuff! All much more true of young zealous Calvinists than of seasoned ones, especially those who avoid the Calvinist self-description.
12/13/2005 09:02:20 AM
Ray said…
Fabulous! Great start to my morning! LOL
12/13/2005 09:09:29 AM
burttd said…
And he left out he left out…
J(ohn) Gresham Machen as well. Unforgivable. ;-}
12/13/2005 09:18:03 AM
Daniel said…
This was quite entertaining Marc - I am glad to see this effort rewarded with such a generous response.
Hung up on L - so true.
12/13/2005 10:07:00 AM
Nate said…
Loved it! Also live it!
12/13/2005 10:51:23 AM
Wes Latham said…
Marc, Great stuff. U ought to publish this.
Take care.
wes
12/13/2005 11:02:03 AM
centuri0n said…
All the God’s-honest Calvinists use my blog as their home page, becuase they appreciate the finer points of being a mean Calvinist.
I’m just sayin’ …
12/13/2005 11:15:14 AM
Craig said…
So I need to know, is Derek Webb no longer a Calvinist? I stopped listening to his music because he was… is it ok to start back?
12/13/2005 11:31:11 AM
Rose~ said…
Centuri0n says:
” … the finer points of being a mean Calvinist.” Is that where they learn it, on your blog? (Just kiddin.)
Marc,
The more I look at this post, the more Calvinist I feel. (not)
But I do like the name John. :~)
12/13/2005 11:42:30 AM
marc said…
Frank,
I used to have your blog as my homepage, but I had to change it because everytime I opened my browser I had this strange urge to buy a t-shirt.
Rose,
Try Reading your bible. That’s all I have to say on this matter. I will pray for you. ;-}
12/13/2005 11:50:05 AM
wyclif said…
The scary thing is that I’ve met guys whose libraries are literally nothing but SDG and BoT. Thanks for the laugh.
You should have made a contest to see who could name the portrait/press photos without getting any wrong.
12/13/2005 12:07:24 PM
Rose~ said…
I’m reading right now and I still don’t feel any more Calvinist. Keep praying.
12/13/2005 12:09:17 PM
Dyspraxic Fundamentalist said…
It is quite amazing how Calvinists think their doctrines are so obviously Scriptural and if they just quote John 6 and Romans 9 us silly Arminians might wake up and become Calvinists.
12/13/2005 01:33:22 PM
MarieP said…
LOL!
How about:
You know what the last names of Carla, Alan, Frank, Tim, Phil, and Steve are.
I’d include Marc, but that’s a different story…
Seriously, I’m going to link you my blog.
12/13/2005 01:49:17 PM
MarieP said…
Oh, here’s another:
You now have to defend yourself if anyone catches you reading anything John Armstrong or Doug Wilson ever wrote.
12/13/2005 01:50:53 PM
marc said…
thanks mariep!
Dys,
you know I’m more worried about your Dispentationalism than your Arminianism
12/13/2005 03:13:13 PM
pastorshaun said…
You know me too well!
12/13/2005 03:48:03 PM
David Kjos said…
Frank, when I click your blog, I think Capitalist, not Calvinist. Of course, I consider that a good thing.
12/13/2005 05:18:43 PM
Anonymous said…
Too True! I’m guilty!
12/13/2005 09:22:59 PM
Ben Myers said…
What a marvellous post — well done!
12/13/2005 10:07:58 PM
TulipGirl said…
*giggle*
(found via Kim
12/13/2005 10:13:50 PM
Ransom said…
*snicker*
John, John, John, John, John, Jonathan, John, John, and John.
It’s funny cuz it’s true.
12/13/2005 11:55:40 PM
Richard D said…
Dyspraxic Fundamentalist said…
It is quite amazing how Calvinists think their doctrines are so obviously Scriptural and if they just quote John 6 and Romans 9 us silly Arminians might wake up and become Calvinists.
Ain’t it true. If we Calvinists just accepted the fact that to be an Arminian you have to reject scripture. It would ease our desire to convince others of the truth.
12/14/2005 05:47:22 AM
Jeremiah Bailey said…
Very funny, but did you know Jesus was a Calvinist? That’s right, he can call himself that because he is God and can see the future….
12/14/2005 05:59:44 AM
andrew jones said…
just want you to know that i was led to this post . . . and i did not seek it of my own free will.
12/14/2005 06:02:03 AM
marc said…
Tall Skinny Kalvinist?
12/14/2005 08:23:17 AM
Anonymous said…
I only knew some of the jokes…pray for me.
12/14/2005 10:21:05 AM
marc said…
Okay, everyone pray for anonymous. No, not that anonymous, the other one. No not that anonymous either, this anonymous.
12/14/2005 10:33:16 AM
aron said…
This is, hands down, the funniest post I’ve ever read. Especially as a follow-up to the recent ‘You might be Emergent if…’ post.
Brilliant!
12/14/2005 10:37:19 AM
Laur said…
LOVE this…
still frantically trying to ID all the johns in fear that not knowing them means i’m not as diehard as i’d hoped…
;-)
12/14/2005 10:42:28 AM
Anonymous said…
I don’t get the one about Derek Webb? He is reformed…explain please
12/14/2005 11:21:24 AM
danny2 said…
nice work
12/14/2005 12:43:52 PM
Lindsey said…
LOL! This is hilarious!!!!!
12/14/2005 01:00:06 PM
blake w said…
Great Post! You know us all too well. I would love some clarification on Derek Webb though. Is it his emphasis on politics and social justice? Peace!
12/14/2005 01:36:16 PM
Robbymac said…
This post is really well done, but sadly, I must admit that I don’t recognize the majority of the dudes in the photos, except for J.I. Packer, whom I’m familiar with because he had such affirming things to say about one of the John’s I admire: John Wimber (who was also Reformed in his theology).
But maybe I can redeem my lack of hyper-ness by positing this BONUS QUESTION for additional perseverance points:
ready?
(ahem)… Who was the famous 19th-century preacher who declared “Calvinism IS the Gospel”?
12/14/2005 02:23:26 PM
Caroline said…
tyhdThanks so much for this. These debates are getting so serious, it was time for us to find a way to laugh about it. . . .
12/14/2005 02:31:21 PM
D.R. said…
Robbie, at least ask a hard bonus question. All calvinists (even the heretical 3 and 4-pointers*) know the answer is Charles Spurgeon.
Oh, and btw, this calvinist will be adding you to the blogroll, not deleting it.
* a joke as well. please do not email me or post a rebuttal on my site because of this comment.
12/14/2005 02:41:57 PM
lil said…
Gosh! I must be one lousy Calvinist! Maybe I’m a three-pointer or something? (I’m going off to some serious introspection)
12/14/2005 02:48:07 PM
lil said…
Pray for me. I think I might be Arminian (or not).
12/14/2005 02:53:47 PM
Robbymac said…
No email or comment rebuttals at your blog, D.R.? You’re taking all the fun outta this!
I’ve met my fair share of brothers/sisters in the Lord who refer to three or four pointers as “semi-Pelagians”. It’s just another way of saying “heretic”, of course, but at least it’s creative.
Signing off now, of my own free will.
12/14/2005 03:32:03 PM
joy | supersiblings.com said…
i’m a five pointer, but i’m smiling.
one thing i don’t get — #6
what gives with that? derek’s as reformed as they come.
dunno why a calvinist would ban him any sooner than a
health-wealth-prosperity-”gospel” guy would.
i’m confused on that one.
12/14/2005 04:18:47 PM
marc said…
Follow the comments and the links on the Derek Webb thing.
12/14/2005 04:34:52 PM
papa g said…
i liked it … does this mean that i wasn’t really saved when i read it.
papa g
12/14/2005 07:26:33 PM
Tom said…
Well, Calvin being French, he would have spelled his own name “Jean Chauvin” and pronounced it “Zhong show-VANG”. (But he would have still supported the Iraq war.)
By the way, compare and contrast with “YOU KNOW YOU’VE BEEN ATTENDING A PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH TOO LONG WHEN…” at http://fathermckenzie.blogspot.com/2005/07/you-know-youve-been-attending.html.
12/14/2005 07:41:25 PM
Tom said…
BTW, how about “… if you refuse to fill out your astrological sign on your Blogger profile”…?
12/14/2005 07:44:27 PM
Puritan Belief said…
Well done… Lucky you didn’t write this blog of your own free will but of the will of your father. jokes…
12/14/2005 08:00:59 PM
MarieP said…
Tom said…
“BTW, how about ‘… if you refuse to fill out your astrological sign on your Blogger profile’…?”
OH MAN!!!! That’s ME!!!!!
12/14/2005 08:49:50 PM
Anonymous said…
amazing….
12/15/2005 03:44:16 AM
Anonymous said…
I’m obviously not a hyper … got no idea who ‘Derek Webb’ is .. the rest makes perfect sense
Bob
12/15/2005 06:32:53 AM
Gideon Strauss said…
“… southern calvinists are of a different breed than us midwestern calvinists …”
I guess that means we Canadian calvinists are liable to be mistaken for Emerging Churchers. Although I have a distinctly non-EC, Presbyterian goatee, so maybe not.
12/15/2005 10:51:32 AM
P W Hatcher said…
You just hit the top of my blogroll.
I prefer to call it Sovereign Grace, because I am leery of anything that ends in an “ism”.
I am embarassed by so many so called “Calvinists”
Excellent post.
12/15/2005 11:48:21 AM
Mike Morrell said…
Marc, this is hilarious! First you lampoon my current tribe (”emerging”), and now one of my beloved roots! I love it. How long does it take you to execute one of these anyway? Seems like it would take you forever to uncover all these great pics.
…But how many Calvinists would start a house church over anything? Wouldn’t that be fighting a minor demon with Satan himself?
12/15/2005 02:16:55 PM
Calvinist_Gadfly said…
Paulos said…
“All much more true of young zealous Calvinists than of seasoned ones, especially those who avoid the Calvinist self-description.”
Yea, those unseasoned Calvinists who identify themselves as Calvinists like Sproul, White, and Phil Johnson need to lose that label and become less “zealous”
12/15/2005 02:58:16 PM
Calvinist_Gadfly said…
P W Hatcher said,
“I prefer to call it Sovereign Grace, because I am leery of anything that ends in an “ism”.”
So, you do not believe in “monotheism,” “trinitarianism,” etc.?
12/15/2005 03:02:25 PM
Joe Fleener said…
I wish I was this creative.
I can’t stop laughing!
12/15/2005 07:51:06 PM
puritan said…
I just deleted this post… but it was a hoot!!!
12/15/2005 10:32:18 PM
P W Hatcher said…
Calvinist_Gadfly said… So, you do not believe in “monotheism,” “trinitarianism,” etc.?
Okay, you pedant, you know what I meant. Let me regroup.
I prefer to call it Sovereign Grace, because I am leery of words that begin with a man’s name and ends in an “ism”.
12/16/2005 07:59:59 AM
~greg said…
26. you think Goggle’s common grace doesn’t extend to a search for John Calvin because you get different results everytime, including critic’s sites.
12/16/2005 09:34:24 AM
Marla said…
Tom, I have a moral dilemma whenever I see any Christian (Calvinist or not) has filled out the astrological sign in their Blogger profile.
Marc, how about a hangman spoof for the five points? T_ _ I P and I’d be hung
12/16/2005 12:30:29 PM
[OTD]GI Joe said…
Great stuff! When I was in Bible College in Memphis, TN back in the late ’70s, I was wrestling with Reformed Theology. My roommate offered some well intentioned advice when he said, “All I know is that everyone I know who has become a Calvinist always starts smoking and drinking and cussing”.
I told him that I didn’t smoke.
12/21/2005 11:49:48 AM
John said…
Enjoyed reading your photo essay
Yours in Christ,
John
www.GodSci.org
1/02/2006 01:06:55 AM
The Oracle said…
As a semi-Pelagian living in Moscow, Idaho I bear witness of the spot on hilarity of this obsession. By the way, I freely chose to respond.
1/02/2006 03:04:52 PM
Joseph M. Gleason said…
Oracle,
You just think you freely chose to respond.
Actually, God ordained before the foundation of the world that you would respond as you just did.
1/04/2006 04:49:10 PM
Kenny said…
That is hilarious!
1/07/2006 03:22:02 PM
Angaerin said…
Just regarding the last two comments, which were the only ones I’ve read… I hope that neither of you gentlemen mean to suggest by your words here that, in staring one another down over the fence, the two sides ought to resort to a “yeah-huh!” “nuh-uh!” manner of contention?
1/07/2006 03:23:19 PM
Richard said…
You’re in ‘Tonka? As in the Lake of Vikings parties? Our church is in Minnetonka. Its a good, solid, and real Reformed (meaning, Presbyterian) church.
Visit me and two of my favorite cronies at www.thehighpost.com/weblog
The Wino
1/07/2006 08:08:19 PM
Plea by Marc — January 15, 2006 @ 10:50 pm
Concerning the Johns, you’ve also skipped pre-Reformers Wycliffe, Huss, as well as the Puritans Flavel, Trapp, Oldfield, Howe, Boys, Arrowsmith,Bond, Collins, Collinges, Preston, Rogers, King, Lightfoot, Whitlock, Robinson, Udall, Shaw, Milton, Hooper, Daille, Cotton, and Penry.
Most importantly, the Apostle John (too many verses in his gospel and epistles could never have been written by an Arminian).
Plea by Kenan — January 25, 2006 @ 11:33 pm
Fantastic- has to be the most obviouse in all of christiandom to get a good belly laugh over. History not excluded.
Might add-cringes everytime they read-Jn.3:16
ITim2:4 ect. without one of those pictured above to help them out at such a moment of crisis.
Plea by oscar — January 29, 2006 @ 3:41 pm
I don’t get it.
Plea by Bob — February 15, 2006 @ 10:10 am
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[…] 25 warning signs that you might be obsessing about Calvinism […]
Pingback by LifeChanging » Blog Archive » Thursday Trivia — May 25, 2006 @ 1:30 am
[…] “Help! I’m Going Hyper[Calvinist]!“ […]
Pingback by The Original Soapbox » Blog Archive » Humor with an U — August 9, 2006 @ 3:43 pm
Makes me want to count the petals on my TULIP! Thank you God for choosing to save me! And thank you God for the great men who have suffered to keep the Word available, in the language of the people, and preached without shame to this day-many of their pix are here. Thanks for a great essay, Marc.
Plea by Paul — August 26, 2006 @ 7:47 pm
Thanks Paul,
Welcome to PURGATORIO.
Plea by Marc — August 26, 2006 @ 9:09 pm
Comedy, I was talking to my 5-pointer friend yesterday and I think he brought up like 15 of these without even knowing about Purgatorio. I laugh when we get into spats. I’ll be in my Wesleyan repentance corner. Thanks for the great comedy.
In Christ,
Jimmy V
Plea by Jimmy V — September 3, 2006 @ 10:59 pm
Hilarious! I began studying reformed theology and the doctrines of grace recently and I am already guilty of several. Sadly…even #1. I’ve changed my desktop wallpaper to tulips. Soli deo Gloria. :0)
Plea by Gloria — October 14, 2006 @ 1:06 am
Craig…..How said is it that you only listen to musicians that agree with you theologically. I hope you don’t like any old hymns.
Plea by Cody — November 18, 2006 @ 10:34 pm
[…] Oh, and thanks to jastef.net for this link. So funny!! […]
Pingback by InducedLabour_U2 - 4:39PM » raisingeckerts.com — January 12, 2008 @ 12:01 am
26. Someone sits in YOUR PEW on Sunday and you don’t know what to do!
:P I can laugh because I am one, and it’s SO TRUE!!
Plea by CJTaylor — January 12, 2008 @ 9:34 pm
I just set my desktop background to a bunch of yellow tulips, in honor of my current investigation of Calvinism.
Plea by John — March 24, 2008 @ 10:28 pm
LOLOLOLOL
You forgot to put Tim Keller’s picture up there.
And you forgot to mention a TRUE Calvinist uses T***P for their password.
Plea by Holiday Longing — May 18, 2008 @ 10:50 pm
I’m a Calvinist, yet I find this sooooooooooooooooooooooooo funny!
Plea by Leonard — May 23, 2008 @ 7:58 am